Wishing on the same star
by Reinamarie Seregon
Summary: NxTxSoi. a deeper insight into the Seiryuu seishi's dreams hopes and fears. inspired by Namie Amuro,hence the title.
1. Nakago: scorpio

A Fushigi Yuugi fic Wishing on the Same star------------------By Venus  
*I am using the horoscopes of the seishi to explain why they act the way they are. It is quite accurate  
Scorpio,water element : the mysterious, the charming, cold externally, passionate underneath, intelligent, scheming, when put under pressure becomes ruthless  
Libra,air element : loyal, charismatic, friendly, proud, diplomatic, loyal, filled with passion, diplomatic, friendly, needy and vulnerable  
  
Virgo, earth: innocent, curious, blunt, rash, possessive of loved ones, diffident or shy  
Nakago-------------------scorpio  
I slammed the table furious that I had let my temper get to me. I had actually screamed at those imbeciles. Even though it was my fault, for not planning more meticulously. The Emperor was going to laugh at this. I, the great shogun hated being ridiculed. Humiliation, cold, fury seeped.  
  
The tent flap tugged. "WHAT?" I roared.  
  
"Nakagosama." It was her, eyes lowered, offering to treat my backwound. I allowed hr to do so. How could the canon have come from the back, and I had not remembered that the mountain guerillas used sneaky tactics?  
  
"Please don't blame yourself. It was also our fault, more than your own."  
  
"I will think what I like. You will not tell me. I do not require your services tonight, and Soi, report to His highness our losses. I will account for them when we return."  
  
When her footsteps had retreated, I hugged myself forcing my mind to stop wandering. But it always did. Whenever these battles were in vain, reminding me of the weaknesses I had. I hated this. I was NOT that child so long ago. My kaasan dead.. My fault. I'm sorry I killed you, I only wanted to help. But I was too stupid to understand. I miss you so deeply. I tried to, have always tried to convince myself that you are watching over me just like those tales about our ancestors. But I feel no touch. No concern.  
  
I am truly alone.  
  
It was hard not to dwell on it, and I cried the energy dry. My heart was shattered, I longed for my mother's soft touch to make me whole and loved once again. A chuckle.  
  
"Who's there?" I whispered. Shit if it was any of the others seeing their leader in ruins, I composed myself. Squinting, I supposed it was some movement flicking here and there. Was it a naughty spirit? It flicked on the oil lamp.  
  
"I dropped in hearing you crying."  
  
"It's none of your business." I snapped lying down. The light flickered, flicked and then got so bright. It pierced through the lids when I had forced them close. I got a blanket and dumped it over the lamp. The light hissed out.  
  
"Ow." That would teach the thing some manners. Especially on such a lousy night. I wished I hadn't sent Soi away. Stop don't think, I can do this. I have coped.  
  
"Ya like the girl don't ya?"  
  
"You know nothing," I told it whatever IT was. "Disappear now or I will."  
  
"You what, ki-blast every living thing and all the innocent civilians. Nakago, where is your heart?"  
  
It has gone cold and died. No use heating it up for it will hurt. Do you expect me to weep over all the deaths in battle? I vow not to so it wouldn't hurt anymore. I will forever be rejected and resorted to torture. The thing was quiet and just when I thought it was gone, said loudly, "I can make your wound feel better ya know. Just lie still and a miracle will take place."  
  
I almost laughed, almost. "All right not that, physical is manageable, I just want my mother." Why had I blurted that out? Tears came. I couldn't stop it, hold back. Pain blocked out. The bug burst into a spark and I saw whiteness.  
  
******************************  
  
It was a new place. Somewhere that was unearthly. I walked on, feeling more and more drained. Two people chasing flowers. Then the smaller one pointed. He was.. Me! Then she was mother.  
  
"Kaasan!"  
  
"Ayuru, it Is you." We hugged. She DID, then I was not dreaming. She wasn't dead. Not at all. I was not to be alone anymore. I didn't have to miss her anymore.  
  
The bug chuckled at the peaceful smile on the man's face. He slept soundly and his wound was not hurting, it was healing fine. It whizzed out. 


	2. Tomo: Libra

Tomo-----------------Libra  
I got into bed. It had been such a long day. My body hurts all over, sticky but there was no choice if I bathed I would not get to sleep. When someone trampled clumsily into my paradise, JUST WHEN I was dropping off, I was forced to wake up pissed off.  
  
One of the brats, Suboshi or the aniki. "Oyasumi[goodnight] Tomosan. Tomo."  
  
"Yes, this is my face, moron. Whaddya want?"  
  
"Gomen gomen, I'll go away now," he whined backing off. This usually meant he would bother me continuously , repeatedly, in the morning. Better get this over with. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Focused on the floor, a vine hooked the brat's shirt and yanked him back in right in front of me. He trembled, and squealed.  
  
"C-can I ask you"  
  
"Hurry up. " I snapped. I tried to snatch some sleep.  
  
"Kay, um have you seen my brother? He came out to get some. blankets and hasn't come back since. I was getting worried. it's so cold."  
  
I murmured that yes I had seen him and then he went off. Please, leave me ALONE NOW. Period. But Suboshi strode up and down MY tent, trailing the vines about and blew on his hands.  
  
So I forced my aching body to get up and help the stupid fools return to their tents. For Ages! And they couldn't recognize their very own tent. Suboshi brightened up when he saw this.  
  
My feet were freezing. These old shoes helped little, I was stupid to think the boots would blister my soled if I wore them now. We both shouted the boy's name and then at last a flute answered. "Aniki!" the teo hugged, embraced in a bundle of blankets.  
  
"Tomo, THANK you so much! For your help, sorry to trouble you! We hope you have a great night." The second twin piped up and I rubbed my arms. I saw them back into their own tent and shuffled back. The wind bit, literally froze and tore, despite the protection of my hair. Remember to wear thick clothes and scarves and whatever you need when you get out in this snow. Don't let yourself become human turkeys thin as you are. Those bakas. When I passed Nakago's tent, my heartbeat quickened.  
  
Don't think about him. No! it always hurts so much. I feel so cold and needing his arms about me to feel safe. Of course that IS wishful thinking. Stop, good. Now I shall sleep it off, shouldn't be so hard when it's cold.  
  
"Nice tent Tomo!"  
  
The chirpy voice frightned the shit from me and my throat stuck as I was gonna shriek. "It's so pretty. You have got so nice costumes."  
  
A bright spot danced, whirled about a yellow kimono's sleeve picked up, dropped it and the breeze whisked my cheek. The lamp went out. I was alone. "Who are you? Don't be mad at me. I will burn you incense tomorrow. Please let me sleep now."  
  
"I don't want incense. I am not a ghost. I want to be your friend." NANI? Me, having a friend? I checked shin who was asleep. So I was not hallucinating then. I told it to leave me alone. And huddled deeper into the blankets.  
  
But it went on talking. I couldn't not listen, I'm a light sleeper and any noise is unavoidable even if you piled me up with clothes and all, I would still be wide and open and exhausted in the daytime. Why can't I sleep?  
  
"I saw you being so soft to those boys."  
  
"I had to, they were stupid. I find it a shame to have to be a babysitter."  
  
"You are So nice. You're so SWEET."  
  
"I'm not, stop lying to me. I am evil to the core." Like iron nails to my head this was nonexistent. Praise was always come with a cause. It was just an illusion. Ruo Chuin, the weakling, he's always doing it wrong. I'll teach you a lesson.  
  
When I opened my eyes, the light was so blinding in my shin. It had opened shin! I asked what motive it had. For awhile no answer. I felt like throwing something but I didn't want to break anything.  
  
"I won't leave until you promise me something. I want to be your friend."  
  
"I Chuin have no friends. " I cursed myself for not using my sei name. I had put that behind me. I was not Chuin.  
  
"You are both Chuin AND Tomo. Promise me."  
  
"Will you leave?"  
  
"A deal is a deal." We shook on it. Well like a handshake without seeing the other person. What would come out of this? Friendship, did I dare to hope? The childlike hope in me, and. perhaps I would be accepted now. Because someone wanted, volunteered to be friends with me. 


	3. Suboshi:Virgo

Twins/Suboshi-----------------------Virgo  
* I will follow up soon on more TomoxSoi ! this chapter is for all the twins . keep reading then! And thank u for yr support.  
Morning. I looked at my Aniki still snoring. Snuggled closer. Bustling outside our tent. Who could it be it was too cold to move.  
  
"Aniki."  
  
Murmurs as he rolled over and covered with a pillow. I poked his shoulder. "OW! Quit that Shunchan!"  
  
I ignored that, as I always do and said, "Why are people walking about, it's too cold." After he did not answer me I decided to go investigate myself. Turned out to be a bunch of guards drinking and luahging. I spun ryuuseisui.  
  
"OI." That was me.  
  
"Er hi, Suboshi-sama. Sorry to disturb you." I grinned my most impressive smirk of a title bestowed on me and told them to bug off. They looked pretty scared. Ha! No more fun.  
  
I had the outrageous idea of sneaking up on Nakago. His tent was right behind Tomo's with a gold flap. The man was writing something with a brush, donning his normal white shirt. Ok, I didn't like him but I had no one to talk to, I needed to chat with SOMEONE. It's just one of those you know. Besides I was starving suddenly and forgot where cook's tent was.  
  
"Hi Nakago , I was hoping you would plese point me to cook's tent? I'm hungry."  
  
He put on a fur coat, and I scampered on his heels. Sugoi(wow!!) he actually didn't mind me disturbing him so early.  
  
"So Suboshi would you also mind getting me some porridge, I am also starving. Thank you." I was too shocked to reply and just scrambled in. He was waiting outside and took the bowl. We ate standing outside then returned to his tent. Actually I planned to leave but he lifted the flap and nodded, moving inward.  
  
Nakago looked impassive-------- his eyes a cold steely blue. It was not possible to read anything.  
  
"It is cold outside, such terrible weather." A casual remark, but I was trembling a lot already!  
  
"Yes," I conceded. "What's that writing?"  
  
"The number of casualties we have suffered. And victories."  
  
"Sorry, gomen nasai." I had probably overdone my theory of charging and then looking behind.  
  
"It was not YOUR FAULT. I emphasize that, so please get it into your thick heads!" That was funny, our boss did not so much as blame himself, he would be reprimanding other people. "Tell me have you ever felt incompetent in your life?"  
  
This cold tone commanded answers, ASAP. No playing about. Or asswhopping would not be the only thing to worry about. And yet he seemed almost... Friendly? Tired. I listed out the things, such as being hit on the head, being held responsible for an innocent thing. And that. He smiled. At me?? Then it was back to normal schedule, I had to tell Tomo and Soi to see him in his tent afterwards, and all the other lieutenants.  
  
I blundered out and into a figure. We collided. My nose hurt! "Gomen nasai, aniki.....Tomo?"  
  
"Hai what is wrong with you Suboshi? This is my face, why surprised? Run along." He was condescending. Studied his nails.  
  
"Nakago wants to see you today. You're up early, a surprise. I thought you wouldn't sleep well. Like last night."  
  
Tomo's arched pupils closed and he started combing his shiny tresses with love . I was about to go but he said, " How did you know?"  
  
"I guessed and got lucky." This earned me a stare, a neutral stare. I gulped. Tomo then bound up his hair. He was so used to it he did not have to look in the mirror for that. I held open his makeup box and coughed when the powder fluffed up.  
  
"Don't touch my stuff, I might put a snake in next," monotone. And he smiled weakly. Just once and patted my head. He smelled freshly showered.  
  
"Oh gomen, gomen nasai."  
  
"Don't apologise so much, Suboshi." This was said condescendingly, and almost harshly too.  
  
"You HAVE a lot of hair. Nice, longish too." A compliment might do the trick.  
  
"Why thank you. That's nice. I'm glad you have got exquisite taste."  
  
"Not at all. Are you happy today, this very moment?" I don't know why I suddenly said this. In the face of an unpredictable outcome. Tomo totally faced me, his hair now neatly tied. His fingers pausing midway to the powder box. A brush fell. But he ignored it.  
  
"Neither. Why do you venture?"  
  
"Well I wish for you to be happy is all. No matter what, how you might resent any of us." Then I ran faster than a twister before I REALLY sank into deep shit. And curled up in my bed with Aniki. Well what would the guy think? I secretly admired him for his awesome powers with the clamshell. Just like my aniki, a role model. Maybe I would tell him that so he would smile for me.  
  
************************  
"Hi Subochan. So how was the morning?" Aniki crooned and now he hogged it completely so I had only the edge. I gave the ok sign and updated him. Soi stuck her head in, dressed in navy blue.  
  
"Hey kids! Look at these." Bank notes. And many of them!  
  
"We ain't kids!" She said it was Nakago's unexpected salary. And we had expected he would be in trouble.  
  
"So we'll go to town shopping. Coming? Tomo says he wants some perfume."  
  
To our surprise, when we met the man in his opera gear, Soi struck up conversation with him. Instead of yelling names, the two were laughing. And the illusionist waved at us in a friendly manner. Today the market square was bustling with activity. Sellers selling wares, veg, fishes being bidded for at lowest prices. I got a new ryuuseisui rope, Aniki a pouch for his things, and Soi new clothes. We almost forgot and then we saw a stall with bottles of potions, vials and miscellaneous. Soi chose one with plant oils. It smelled nice.  
  
I was then wondering why everybody wasn't grouchy today. When Nakago and Tomo would be pissed at me. "I helped him." A coy voice whispered.  
  
"Who?" I exclaimed, the latter giving me a strange face. He even stepped on my foot. Of course I naturally barraged Aniki with the artillery.  
  
"Who the HELL DO YOU THINK you're, you could have broken my foot! It hurts like shit!" I screamed in our tent.  
  
"Have you finished? I just had to stop you from blurting out everything! You would have told Soi-san. And I heard the voice too. It's a sprite. A mischievous one too!" I gaped. Then it wasn't any of my friends who were talking.  
  
"It said Nakago felt better. So how could it be naughty then?" I rubbed my foot. When we ate dinner, Nakago was whistling happily, and chatting with Tomo and Soi. They glanced at each other. Uh-oh was he mental? 


	4. Nakago:Scorpio

Nakago---------------Scorpio  
Tomo and Soi were extremely concerned about my condition. For the first time, I let the emotion flow. I was touched deeply. They actually care about me. You must be wondering if I am going mental. And yes the Emperor threatened to cut my wages. He also wanted to sack me. Despite my status. And I could not answer back or else. Then a miracle.....  
  
Some stars glittered about the ruler of our pathetic country. His guards rushed to take me down. I prepared to defend myself. Then the man ordered that they leave me alone. Why?? Because I had hit on the strategic value of the guerilla attack. He grinned all over his bearded face. So I went for a walk to contact the thing, to ay a small thank you. I felt drained, incredibly. Being calm had sapped my energy. Transmission failed.  
  
I was still happy, after allowing me to meet mother, the bug had saved me from execution and a broken rice bowl. The trees nodded and violet flowers bloomed. I compared that with the bald trees nearby. To my horror, I felt like a strange being, all hurt, pain, sadness and joy CRYING out to be expressed. but it didn't feel right letting it out, it was too dangerous.  
  
****************************  
So I couldn't thank my fellowmen for assisting me. I could however give them my salary. I wanted to dream of kaasan again, however I could not be selfish. If the bug couldn't do it, it was okay. Could that be?  
  
"I thank you Little one. Are you a bug?"  
  
"And I would like to see you so I can thank you personally." A small giggle, to my left. I closed in for a study of IT, trapping between my fingers. It shouted yeouch!  
  
"That was so RUDE, Ayuru! Couldn't you be more grateful? Or at least find a less lousy way to talk?" I laughed at this, it was crazy I would not let others take advantage of me like this and yet, here I was relaxed.  
  
"Arigatou. Could I see my mum again?"  
  
The thing paused. Its wings hummed as if in annoyance. "You think I can just do this everytime? Poof, like magic? I'm not God, I'm just a fairy." Despite having prepared for this letdown I couldn't help crying. The pain washed out, I felt weak and tired. I lay down and rubbed at my eyes. The child inside, it was a mistake to let it happen. I shouldn't have let it out. It hurts!  
  
I want to say I love you forever  
  
The promise that I have made  
  
Even if time doesn't permit me to  
  
Distances apart, I can still love you  
  
And remember that it was Fate that had us meet.....  
(Coco Lee, Eternal Promise)  
Where was kaasan? Why had she not stayed like she promised to? In this stupid stupid world, I was the only one. I trembled, humiliated, shamed, angry. It was not fair, the thing shouldn't see me like this. Nobody should.  
  
"Don't cry," she said, sounded female.  
  
"I am fine."  
  
"Ayuru, don't cry. Please don't."  
  
Comforting arms landed about me, pulled me close. Tomo! His soft voice saying something. Saying my name. I didn't need this!  
  
"Tomo, go away. I'm fine!"  
  
"I just wanted to tell you something. I have strong....." A rustle of cloth. I turned away.  
  
"You know everything!" I snapped. "Mother, she's my private business. I bet you're glad right? To harp on my vulnerabilities and laugh at me! This stupid emotional shogun! A failure from the start!"  
  
"I'm not-------- Nakago, listen," Tomo was whispering. He looked pained although the paint was intact. He hadn't removed it but it was failing its purpose.  
  
"I don't love you! I never did. It's not right having a relationship, it's never right for us to be together. It can't be, Tomo, so leave." A huge silence. I was too proud to say any apology, which should be appropriate. I had the thought even that I was right. He was too stupid to see the truth and I had enlightened him. Annihilate all of earth and take back what is mine!  
  
"You really hate me? And Soi too."  
  
I must have been blind. I just stayed quiet. Push them away that's it, the expert you are. Shut up, you know nothing! What wrong have they actually done to me? Tomo said goodnight and then he left. The sadness in his voice was unmistakable. I want to heal, and yet in this second of frustration and anger I had blown it.  
  
"Little One you brought him did you not? But why, why didn't you ask first?" I cried hoarsely.  
  
"I thought you needed a hug, I can't do so and I asked him. Now...there's a problem."  
  
"I owe him an apology. But, I can't... he'd be too hurt." Something whizzed past my ear, touched my lips. Leave it to me. Ok, I slept now. 


	5. Soi

Soi----------------Scorpio  
The freak was so happy with the gift. He practically hugged me! It is wonderful for all of us. The moonlight is bright tonight, spilling its golden rays over Kutou. Such splendour, I had never taken time off to explore and study in detail. I had not appreciated its gift.  
  
"Soi," I stopped at the unfamiliar voice. It was------ painted freak?  
  
"Yeah what?" I grumbled. Not too welcome to hear him, it usually meant an ego blast for me.  
  
"I have got his answer Soi," shakily. I frowned, nani? The unpainted features were wet, the ambers soft, hurt, agony. "He loves you. He does not, for me. You're the only one. So lucky."  
  
"What? OKay, I don't get it, of course Nakago loves you!" despite my own joy at this news. Tomo, he was too upset now. The man shook his head, small smile on his lips.  
  
"I asked him personally. You have won Soi. Congrats," Tomo whimpered, retreating from me. A blade flicked, went for his thin throat. I yelled stop! and struck it away with my powers. The young guy stared, surprised and baffled.  
  
I repeated what I said, and added that we could share him. Now, that was weird I would LOVE to have total ownership of our chief only so why should I share him? But at the moment the urgency was there, I guess I was not clear. "It's all right." He laughed, shook his head, and moved away from my touch. I felt his pain and abandonment, loss as vividly as my own emotions reverberating  
  
This was new.  
  
"We can't share him, Soi. Love is not that way," he said more loudly, stumbling backwards. "Don't lie to me, or make me feel better. It's not good." Seiryuu how can I be so selfish and blind? Towards this man who is my mirror reflection? We are too similar. "I have never been loved. That's the truth. And somehow I hoped it would change this time. But I have to face up to it Soi. You're not a bitch, I am. I am standing between you and Nakagosama, so farewell."  
  
The blade was at his wrist now, it slid a large gash, Tomo gave a tragic smile. NO! instinct hit me-------- I pushed him on the grass and forced the knife away. The illusionist cried out, struggling against me and I used all my strength to pin down his arms. I also screamed at him for being so stupid. Blood flowed on the lawn staining it red. My own strength failed me but I hung on.  
  
I shook him by the shoulders and yelled some more. Tomo cried painfully and half reached for the dagger. I kicked it away.  
  
"Soi why won't you let me die? I won't obstruct you anymore!"  
  
"That's not the point! The point of us being alive isn't because of HIM. It's to protect our miko. And she's not here yet! Calm down." I panted for breath, gingerly wiping sweat from my face and eyes, still sitting on him. He looked so small, so fragile, a white figure that could break when thrown on the floor.  
  
He gradually dragged himself from under me, sniffling, rubbing at his nose. Under the moonlight, his hair concealing part of his face, this seishi looked incredible. The air was full of the insects' cry and our respiration.  
  
"Listen." The golden pupils dilated.  
  
"What, I don't hear..."  
  
"You're Libra and scorpio air and water. Quite unstable but it seems fair to work out now. I called Soi." Who in hell was that? I meant, in tarnation (not so vulgar). My rival was listening hard. I didn't believe in ghosts. "I came of my own accord!"  
  
"You did?" the thing sneered. Something snagged my hair. OW!  
  
"I'm not a ghost, that's a misconception! I am a fairy. Difference is, get this clear, I am not Seiryuu's agent or spirit." Thing declared proudly, sounding like 'humph'. "Tomo are you feeling better?" it asked kindly.  
  
Now I saw another force pushing him up to sitting position, for he was lying down before too tired to get up. I'm not afraid! What force is this? He shook his head.  
  
"Let us go in peace, bug. I know you're not a human for sure! If I find out you're hoax I will personally cut you into tiny tiny pieces!" The elders said that some spirits were headstrong. Some sense needed to be knocked into them! So this was female. She vanished, the star sparkles melted away.  
  
Tomo lay down again. I stood up offering a hand. "Don't commit suicide. It's not...worth it." He looked dreamily obsessed by the wound on his hand, the liquid trickling down . since he did not seem to be listening I knelt, tapped the shoulder and kissed his wet cheek tasting salty. Tomo hissed, looking up and there was no anger there. He took my hand and walked slowly beside me.  
  
I took him back to his tent, bade him sit and got cloth to bind up his wrist. "You won't be able to use this one for awhile." Tomo swallowed and lay on the makeshift bed. Not facing his back.  
  
"Are you not going to leave?" I handed him a small mirror. He pulled down a swollen lid and examined it.  
  
"Not until I am sure you're not gonna kill yourself." Tomo rose to an upright position and turned inside. His soft hair gleamed like river water. 


	6. Tomo: the scales

Wishing on the same star part 6  
Tomo-----------------The scales  
[for Ryuuen and Sister of darkness]  
I would have cursed myself previously for being so foolish in front of the lightning seishi of all the people! Nakago would not have broken, he's never so stupid and vulnerable. After he said he did not think our relationship would work out I felt enlightened. Why did I torment them? I was in the way. I should have run-away so they could be together. If only our shogun had said this earlier I would not have to go through so much pain, anguish. I have never once disbelieved in open painful confession. The truth cannot be hidden away in an illusion forever.  
  
How could I be so childish and petty?  
  
I lay back fighting the old pain and yet my heart felt energized. I was fine again. I was free. I didn't have to stay and beg for someone to love me, like a vampire. I felt clearheaded on what to do next. Looking at Soi made me feel weak and tearing up so I closed those amber not-quite human pupils with thin lids. She caressed my forehead.  
  
"You're so beautiful you know that? You cannot die. You mustn't." Precisely that I wanted to take my life . But you had to come! I would leave in peace, just pretend you haven't met me before.  
  
"I am an obstacle."  
  
"Who says he loves me? He hasn't shown it yet. And not till...."  
  
She was a goose. I chuckled derisively. Women were too curious when they could be content they chose to pick at the flaws in others' words. If only I were a true man instead of having female hormones, I would be freer. Yes Seiryuu was a cruel God. Why did he make me like this?  
  
"You don't share love. It doesn't work," I tried once more, my fingers rubbing at the throbbing area above my ear. I have to put this right, get Soi and Nakago married.  
  
Soi waited, as if debating what to do or say to me. It wasn't awkward, more like we were enjoying the peaceful silence this night. "Who was that thing? Tomo. You know her, how, how come?" 'it's not fair how come you get to know first' I read from the tone. Like I reached Nakago first, met him and impressed him with my opera tricks and singing. Or is that just overactive hyperimagination?  
  
"She was with me. She called me and said Nakago needed comfort."  
  
Now she was gonna bombard me with queries on why he needed comfort. She did, however, with only a simple why. I understood, yet, felt no compunction to answer. The man's confidence in me when I had peeked into his memories of pain and abandonment, his helplessness his please-don't- tell anybody crying, I understood that urge very well. Even if he accused me of knowing I would not betray him. All of us have a secret place and it must stay that way. That's my instinct, Seiryuu chose us both very well giving us this sort of nature.  
  
I shifted and lay on my other side my right wrist throbbing. Predominantly this was the hand I used. Why was I rash? Was it because of the disbelief and grief and it's-not-fair clashing against each other? Human emotions.  
  
"You guys are so alike, even born under the same star! Why don't you shake on it?"  
  
"You again! SHOW yourself!" Soi snarled, whipping the blanket towards the voice. I stopped her, resting the bandaged hand on Soi's shoulder. She stared at me. My ears felt hot.  
  
"Will you show yourself?" I was curious to see this creature for myself, this nice friend who volunteered to be my companion. And I admired her omniscient, al-lknowing power. I sat up, smiling to show my eagerness. Maybe she was shy. Soi groaned an ohplease! Spare me it's a ghost!  
  
"Uh-uh."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I can't it's against the rules."  
  
"What rules you said Seiryuu doesn't rule you. Don't stall time!" Soi growled, grabbing my crown-stand like a weapon. I couldn't help laughing. The lightning lady continued to wave it around. She was definately not a night owl behaving so grumpily.  
  
"Can you describe please? So we have a small idea?" I asked gently, opening my palm. A weight rested there, a feather softness-silkyness. Maybe some sort of fairy folk. In China there were no such things for the old only believed in ghosts and spirits but in one story from a caucasian guy in our camp he mentioned about the western mythological fairies, pixies, elves. "Are you a fairy?"  
  
No answer. In my chest sat a heavy weight. She wasn't going to..tell me. The old fears of being abandoned came back, it always was so------- nobody ever told me the truth, I was always betrayed in the end. The pain died, I wanted to throw something then as my injured hand snaked for the spare dagger near my pillow. She shouted no! and something like smooth melodious music filled the atmosphere.  
  
"I will always be your friend, I won't betray you Tomo how could you hint at such a word?"  
  
"Then why don't you show us how you look? I find it, so.... hard to visualize you Little one. Don't you understand this agony inside me?" I knew my rival was listening, I wanted her ears. My voice was softer fainter as tears threatened to unleash. I clenched my fists digging them onto the mattress. She said stuff then, I tried to smile and nod although the worse part of this weepy feeling had yet to pass. Ordinary build, red hair, green eyes transparent wings, sexy figure, ten toes and ten fingers. The she stopped. And I knew she was gone. Some part of me was insisting that this was insufficient. I sniffed and looked at Soi.  
  
She wasn't mocking at me, just tired. Me too.  
  
"You can have the strength to act so dramatic and the time's so late. Better rest." I nodded, untying my hair. She yawned unceremoniously, reached over, touched my black mane then quickly ran out. I fluffed up the pillow, some tears flowing down..  
  
"Thank you," Of course I wasn't addressing anybody in particular!  
  
***********************  
Just as I had finished the final gold touches to my face, and flicked the sleeves up careful not to bend my wrist, the flap pulled. "You want to talk to me?" The face under auburn locks commandeered. So, she had received my thought message. I motioned for her to sit. Her body was thinner , covered only by soft clothes, just a fur coat of inferior grade.  
  
"I really like the perfume. To show my appreciation, I'm using it now." I tipped the level of liquid so it was facing her. She was serious. "I've decided already."  
  
Waking up early this morning I had gone to the temple to pray. But having some unease, I went out walking in the gardens. I prayed for the strength to carry out this speech properly, without crying. The fairy whose identity I presume from her silent answer, consoled me. I suddenly lost all my worries. This was going to hurt but I had to say this anyway.  
  
"You and Nakago ought to be married. So, I won't have a chance. Since it's so [phew] we have no more reason to be fighting. I am glad we can be friends. Can we?" I chanced a look askance. Yes. I relaxed, heart palpitations slowing to normal. I was stoic enough to withstand this, do you see this Fairy? Do you? I felt a sense of pride for the first although I was a great performer.  
  
"You-are-insane-Tomo."  
  
She got up and hugged me. I smiled. The ache was soft and light in my chest. "Come out, I want to show you something." She grasped my slender hand the uninjured one and led me out. I remembered the tenderness when she treated my wound.  
  
The flowers outside were fascinating, blue orange white yellow, a mixed combination of everything in nature to offer. Some exclamations, the twins. Ashitare was bounding along chasing some butterfly. It was not earthly------ - too good to be earthly. I stared down at Soi who was smiling happily. I relaxed again, and she leaned against my chest. Our hearts beating together.  
  
Little one I still don't understand. You don't show us how you look but you give this sort of sign.....what does it mean? Are you saying that we can survive this life? Coz I know you did this. Or that we can all be friends, even if we are seishi of war strategy*  
  
Seiryuu is the God of war as FY has explained  
The shogun had not awakened yet. Amiboshi decided to go and peek in on him. He deserved to share this wonderful piece of nature here. He yelled into the blond man's tent until Nakago groaned, rubbing his eyes. Amiboshi even found unnerving courage to shake him and ask him to hurry.  
  
In fact the two didn't even have to step right out, the sight was behold.. Nakago stopped yawning and shaking his hair out of his eyes and just gaped. Another one of those... miracles. The flutist played a tune for this moment. When Nakago had got dressed they met the others. Tomo nodded, his expression level, like nothing had happened. Soi kissed him lightly on the cheek and Suboshi laughed hugging his bro.  
  
Nakago felt so wicked and despicable. "Tomo-san, I ..."  
  
The illusionist smiled softly. His lips had appeared so red. "It's alright." He reached over and hugged the twins to him. His costume was dirty and yet he didn't seem to mind. "Tomo, I want to...." It was no use. The words were dying even as it started out.  
  
"Will you forgive me please?" Nakago implored searchingly, moving closer. And the opera singer retreated and left them for the distant hills. The shogun felt driven to follow but Soi? She hugged him once, whispered in his ear. Thank you for understanding, here I come. And he chased the retreating figure. Amiboshi held back his ototo, praying for peace and that world they lived in could be enlightened. A tune for this beautiful dawn. 


	7. Nakago

By: Venus  
Nakago----------------Scorpius  
Tomo led at his own pace, graceful, his figure shadowed by the sunlight coming up the hills, quietly. The feathers looked so uncontrolled that I had the overwhelming instinct to grasp them and hold him tightly. Yet they looked so much like wispy flowers.  
  
"Tomo," I implored weakly, please listen to me. What if he had tried to kill himself? What if he was doing it now throwing himself off the cliff, maybe he had a rope or something... He would hang himself !! this is unlike me but I had really been so harsh. I had treated him like a kid. I caught up and took his shoulder.  
  
"I order you to stop and turn around." The mask facing me was impassive, normal glazed concentration. Tomo disengaged from my grip, regarding me formally. No no this wasn't what I wanted let ME talk instead.  
  
"Nakago, I am a coward so sorry about that. You love Soi. Your heart can't sustain any more trust. It would break you to take in anymore. Don't force it when it can't go any further. And I won't tell anyone about your secret, it's safe with me. Your mother is yours only. Is that what you're trying to say?" My kokoro just broke, snapped inside my chest. An unexpected thing yet it did. I had figured the only woman who loved me was kaasan, then the next Soi.  
  
I cast about, we needed to talk slowly and for my benefit. Perfect the tree was large enough for both of us. I motioned there. He cocked a brow. After you, he was saying. I pushed him before me. A rustle as the illusionist gathered up his long cloak, aside, and crouched on a suitable spot. I struggled to articulate how sorry I was. The desire to communicate for so long had been buried so deep it took tremendous effort. Little One help me. I grinned as she made herself comfy inside his ear, winking.  
  
"Take your time," the Asian assured, giving full attention, the ambers glittering like diamonds an gold dust.  
  
"I don't hate you. I never meant for it to explode, I just got so angry. The anger, this anger confused me. At the moment when touched, y vulnerability just emerged. I don't like that. it's being pried open,  
  
The other nodded. I realized how compassionate he was------he had heard me out. He acted as a mirror taking away the pain. He really could empathize with me. I got carried away by my intuition and need to block out love and pity thinking it was weak. We want so much to be loved by anyone else, so we force it on others demanding instead of just accepting. For when it's the time people will support you, render this service unasked. I am weak . I don't want to be cold, Tomo. He gazed into my eyes. I want your approval. What I am planning now is crucial to Kutou. I just want to rule the country better, I hope to create an environment for us all that we will not be abused.  
  
Tomo you're my teacher.  
  
Thank you for your support and love Soi.  
  
Thank you all of you.  
  
A warm hand touched mine, something foreign to his airs, formality, perfection. "I wish you both happiness." He drew back, stood up briskly. I squinted up at him.  
  
"I am not lying! I can't choose between both of you. Both of you are too good. I love you also."  
  
"Don't lie to us. To yourself."  
  
"It's the truth. You are just as important to me Tomosan." Hug him! Hug him hard! The fairy seemed to draw us closer. I hugged my comrade. He coughed. Denial self-punishment was in his voice as he said no it cannot be. It cannot. I did not let go.  
  
"I can. We can------ I love you." The man at last relaxed in my grip, locking me in an embrace. His breath fuzzed up my hair. I felt so loved and at peace. Then we proceeded back, holding hands. I turned to him. He smiled shyly. I wonder why his paint around the eyes were smudged. The twins whistled. Soi was confused, then said hey and brightened up: 'Soka I see!' To what?  
  
"She said we could share you." Tomo whispered happily. Shun- chan was pestering us all to go indoors for he was hungry. Amiboshi apologized on his behalf. Why not? Soi picked up a violet flower and said show yourself. "Fairy you cannot hide from us any longer. You can't get out of here."  
  
I smiled. The twins squatted, peering at the flower she was holding. Stars exploded suddenly. I sneezed, my nose and throat ticklish as hair being forced in. Tomo seemed the worst affected, his entire dress star-dusted.  
  
"Here I am!" Tomo spoke and we all gawked. It was highpitched, cartoonish in tone. 


	8. Tomo and Soi

Tomo--------------the scales ,Part 8  
What the hell are you doing you asshole? Stop this at once, you twit! You're shaming me! I thought fiercely as the rest dissolved into mirth. The twins were shedding tears.  
  
I need your body.  
  
Hey, hey, stop! Then I remarked automatically, "I am Little Fairy. I cannot show you my true self because you don't believe in me enough." They laughed. I sounded as if I had spent too much time breaking my voice-box. Irons pressed in my cheeks. "Rididculous!"  
  
"He's not," I said in Tweety-bird tone. "I am inside his body,sorry Tomochan. I'll move house now." I felt dizzy and sat on the grass. The fairy possessed the other sei one by one. Suboshi now, for instance, bounced around in an alien way, kinda like a cricket flipping somersaults. Amiboshi grabbed his precious instrument, peeped into it, hiccupped then sent it flying into the distance. "You can't see me!" she sang. Then quiet.  
  
Nakago looked as pained as I. "Don't go I want to be friends." The man I loved hugged me hard, pulling me to my feet.  
  
Name me. Tell me your star names. A name came into being. Soi whispered 'Star fairy'. Deal! I can now stay.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I collapsed on my bed and shut my eyes. There'd been nil killing today , surprise. Star fairy dismissed my thoughts immediately, repeating that she wasn't a god. I giggled and held out my hands. I shifted more comfortably to my side.  
  
"Do you have friends and relatives?"  
  
Yes. She jiggled on my palm, trailing wet shiny slime to the left side.  
  
"Why did you come here?"  
  
I disobeyed my mummy. We have a group obligation to stay at home, but I wanted to explore. There'd be a lot of fun missed. I will get tired of seeing dwarves, pixies, unicorns, the queen of the mushroom ring too. I am too young they said.  
  
I nodded. How lucky she was to have family, I had no one. It was to rely on myself that felt so cold and hollow, Fairy. "To have people who sincerely care, even if they squabble and are mean they forgive eventually. Promise me you'll return to them one day," I said gently, blowing on the invisible thing. She grunted.  
  
"You're lucky. And don't worry you'll always be welcome in here." Suboshi knocked. He grinned at me lying disheveled without any outer clothing, cept for some pants, or makeup. Very funny. I threw a pillow at his head. He pulled out a sorry looking orange mess. Cake for us. We ate, licking fingers.  
  
Happiness quick as a bird burst into song. I love all my friends, I love Soi and Suboshi too.  
Soi---------------Scorpious  
2 months later.....  
Things are coming back to square one because Nakago is serious again. I don't get to spend so much time cuddled with him at all. He'll rush off somewhere to plot and think. I saw my companion Tomo speaking with him just, warplans. Everybody gets so stressed up! I hate war.  
  
I know fighting is needed for survival. I know it is inevitable, but for a cause we do have alternatives! Nakago certainly is NOT the negotiating sort person. I have told him no violence. He just looks very sad and leaves me alone. I wonder when he'll truly not feel so intruded and reclusive. I am ready for him.  
  
I am so worried. Nakago looks nothing like the softness he had when Star fairy visits us. At first I thought she was on some prank giggling when we were in bed naked. Nevertheless what the heck! She's so young and cute. Like a sis. I would not mind telling my sis how to get in bed with a man so hunky and gorgeous like Ayuru. Ayuru. So unique on the tongue, he shivers somewhat when I say that and yet why not? It is his own name. then those blue eyes will twinkle. We talk, like I am talking to myself. She is willing to listen, all ears.  
  
I have to inspect nearby villagers for suspected rebels. I don't like this weeding out for they won't be spared, they won't even return. Peasant ladies cling to their bundles in utter defiance. Some throw rotten fruits towards the carriage bearing our priestess. The juices run and squelch. Nakago doesn't respond. I wonder what he has in mind. What wish will he make? Or will Yuisama get her way?  
  
Will you make us a miracle Little one? Will you stop this horrible thing coming to us? As I request this a woman cries, dragged on her shoulders as a soldier roughly slaps her. She's weeping for her son, entering the army. Another issue, all young able men are taken from farming into the palace to be trained by us, me, Tomo and Miboshi. Miboshi will talk about strategy. The woman faints. I dismount, helping her indoors. The innkeeper spits at me. I glare. I didn't want this.  
  
Nakago cannot be stopped. He's got too many ambitions. My white magic is only for healing. If he doesn't heal I am unable to do much else. I march back to my horse, disappointed downhearted. I only wish I could see my family. Riding past these crowds seem like I am a separate identity from them. Where's my mum?  
  
On cue a soft voice halts me, pulling the reins. My eyes. I ruffle her hair, so many things. So many things before I want to slur you with, for abandoning me. "Goodbye Mother. In our next life will we meet again."  
  
"Kaen! Don't go !!!! you can come back to us again! don't leave me!" her voice dying in the distance. Amiboshi is playing a tune for a child crying for its mum. I carry the boy, cooing at him. I want to, but I can't stop this war. Nakago is pulling us into this destructive circle. We can only wait and hope. 


	9. Final

Nine  
Nakago  
I tell kaasan about the mass executions caused by me. I just want a good government. I don't want to go. It's the last time I can see her, Fairy said she would have to enter the wheel of reincarnation. I want to stay!!  
  
"You cannot. As seishi of Seiryuu, your destiny is to be with your companions and the miko."  
  
"This time, perhaps, war will come in order to prevail peace. It is unavoidable." It's my fault! I should have pushed aside my selfish desires to rule the world! What use is it to me if I can't be with kaasan.... I don't want to leave! However the place is now dark. I become conscious. Tears have soaked the pillow. Fairy materializes, smiling, she looks so pretty.  
  
From now on Mother will come only in deep slumber. I can't get over it but I am strong. I can do this, face Fate bravely. Soi, Tomo they will always be with me. Besides the way the emperor runs Kutou is despicable. I will die trying to replace his corrupted moves. My comrades will die. The other day Soi was hoping I would call it off. I know but I can't. if it is Fate then I can take over the world, if not I will be reunited with all in heaven. Pray that I'll reach that place.  
  
I have decided not to marry Soi, pondering over this. That way Tomo won't be hurt so deeply. I love them equally. I make Soi a letter and an amulet I have worn when young. Everybody is unique.... I spend as much time as possible with the two of them, quality time. Our kindred spirits before darkness falls.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Nakago dies as Tamahome finally stabs him. He doesn't sidestep because he's going to die anyway, all foretold by the Gods. Softness light fading. Singing. So many songs.  
  
Soi, Tomo. They have been waiting. Then he sees such a brightened radiance beside the blue glow of Seiryuu. A redhaired maiden with uncanny green eyes. She's from the Gods after all, Suboshi is confiding. He give each of his closest mates a kiss on the lips. Nakago/Ayuru owes them so much.  
  
I am what you are. Your strength courage and love. I simply reconcile them together. Sorry about the deceiving I made on Earth. Tomo's long hair unbound over his naked chest. He bows to her. No more jealousy of the human heart, no more pain. The duty as seishi to the miko had been fulfilled and one day they'll reincarnate and if fate would, meet in different lives, parallels.  
End 


End file.
